MY PHILOSOPHY
I utilize many approaches in therapy but my core philosophy is grounded in Mindfulness-based, Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), attachment theory, and Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT). I am a person-centered humanist who strives to see my clients fully, compassionately, and without judgment. I offer to be the wind at your back, the flashlight in the cave, and the reaching hand when you are falling.
I am real. I offer guidance and compassion from my heart and mind.
I have developed a style of therapy that is built not just by my education and clinical experience, but my real life experience as well. I am a trauma survivor, who's journey began as a homeless, foster youth teen. I've been to the depths of fear, grief, loneliness, anger - you name it. My clients often express feeling fully understood for the first time when they work with me. I know pain. I know the many forms it takes and how it can poison our life and rob us of everything we want.
I also know what it takes to heal this kind of pain.
Even the most traumatic experiences can be overcome, and I believe every one of us has what we need to heal already within us. The brain naturally wants to heal itself. Hell, your own search for finding the right therapist represents that exact drive within you already. So how can we remove the barriers to this process? That is what we will discover. I offer a safe and comfortable space for you to begin this process when you are ready, whether you're in the middle of your journey or just taking your first, cautious step.
Many of us struggle to live our life fully in line with our deepest values.
We might work those extra hours to please our boss, while taking time away from our family, and feel pain behind this because our family might be one of the very things we value deeply. Maybe we find it important to be helpful or creative but we often feel too sad or run down to take steps towards the very things that would feel better. The challenges can be infinitely varied but whatever they may be, I am here to help explore what is really important to you, and how to move towards these values. I have consistently found that the more my client's tune into their values, the less distress the feel in their lives, no matter what they are struggling with.
Our values can be our guide.
What if you don't know what your values are? We will figure that out together. I encourage self-compassion and realistic expectations from my clients.
I think of our values as our compass, with "North" being all the things we really want out of life. We might take a left turn away from north sometimes, and it might even feel like we’re going the wrong direction entirely. Why is that? This is one of the very things I want to explore with you. I am here to help you tune into your life’s compass and move towards your own meaningful “north”. When know we're on a path of value, the pain, roadblocks, and challenges become more manageable and less threatening. I help my clients attune to their deeper needs and wants in life, and help light the path so that they may get there.
I also believe our emotions are messengers to be befriended, not fought.
Anxiety can be a terrifying monster for many of us, growling and blocking our path. What if I told you we could turn the volume down on it and befriend it? We could turn it down so much that it could instead be a gentle reminder that you have been avoiding something important, are confused about how to do something, or simply need connection. The same goes with anger, sadness, jealousy, and so much more.
How can we work with our emotions, listen to them, turn down the intensity of them, and simply live a life that is controlled less by them? Again, I am eager to explore your story, your thoughts and emotions so we can find a real, grounded way to bring more brightness to your life.
Underlying everything, I genuinely believe the most important part of effective therapy is finding a therapist you truly connect with. Someone who sees you and accepts you exactly as you are. I emphasize being a real person walking side by side with you on your journey, and I would be honored to begin this process with you.
Warmly,
Matthew Heake
Email: mftheake@gmail.com
Phone: 916-245-0439