You Don’t Have to Talk About It to Heal: What EMDR Therapy Really Offers
- Matthew Heake
- May 1
- 3 min read
You’ve processed the past. You’ve done the work. You understand the “why.” And yet… your body still responds like it’s under threat. Tension. Flashbacks. A startle reflex that doesn’t make sense. You’re not broken. You’re not failing therapy. You just need a different tool.
For many people, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is that tool.
What Is EMDR, Really?
EMDR is a structured, evidence-based therapy developed to help people reprocess overwhelming or disturbing life experiences. It's used most often with trauma, but it can also help with anxiety, panic, grief, relational wounds, and even perfectionism rooted in early life experiences.
Here’s how it works: When something intense or traumatic happens, the brain sometimes stores that memory in a kind of “raw” form. The facts, the feelings, the body sensations—everything gets frozen in place. And years later, you might still feel that old charge rise up, even when you're safe now.
EMDR helps the brain finally finish processing what got stuck, so those memories become just that: memories—not triggers.
You’re Still in Control
Here’s what EMDR therapy actually looks like in session:
We begin with resourcing—helping your nervous system learn how to settle and access calm states on demand. We won’t dive into anything heavy until you have a strong sense of stability and internal safety.
When you’re ready, we target a memory or emotional pattern you’d like to work on. Then, using a light bar or tactile tappers, we stimulate both sides of the brain while you briefly bring the memory to mind.
There’s no need to retell every detail out loud. In fact, EMDR can be especially helpful when you’ve already talked it to death—or when talking feels re-traumatizing.
I’ll guide the process, help you track what’s happening, and pause or shift directions at any time. You’re in control the whole way through.
EMDR Isn’t Just for “Big T” Trauma
Many clients ask me, “Do I have to have PTSD for EMDR to help?”
Not at all.
EMDR is effective for:
Childhood emotional neglect
Relationship wounds and breakups
Panic attacks and anxiety that “comes out of nowhere”
Shame and self-criticism that won’t respond to logic
Grief that feels stuck in your body
Medical trauma or accidents
If something happened that overwhelmed your nervous system—whether others think it “counts” or not—it’s worth addressing. EMDR is about helping your body and mind stop reliving what already happened.
Why I Use EMDR in My Practice
When I began practicing, I saw so many clients who were self-aware, motivated, and deeply engaged—but still looping. Still triggered. Still carrying things in their bodies that words couldn’t touch.
Adding EMDR to my work was a turning point—not just for outcomes, but for how hopeful sessions began to feel.
I’m trained in EMDR and practice under the supervision of an EMDRIA-certified consultant. My approach blends EMDR with grounding tools from somatic therapy and Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) so that we’re not just releasing pain—you’re also gaining tools for regulation, clarity, and presence in daily life.
Is EMDR Right for You?
If any of this resonates, we can talk it through. EMDR isn’t one-size-fits-all, and we don’t rush the process. Our work together will be collaborative and paced to your comfort level—always.
Some signs EMDR may be a good fit:
You’ve already done some therapy but feel like something deeper hasn’t shifted
You’re highly functional but feel hijacked by old emotional patterns
You’re ready to move forward, but the past keeps inserting itself into the present
You want healing that doesn’t rely on endlessly talking through the same things
If you’re unsure, that’s okay. You don’t have to commit to anything—our first session is about seeing if we’re a good match and if EMDR feels right for you.
Ready to Feel Different in Your Body?
EMDR isn’t magic, but it is powerful. It helps your brain complete something it started a long time ago. And when that happens, relief isn’t just intellectual—it’s physiological.
If you’re ready to explore it, I’d love to connect. I offer both in-person EMDR sessions in Sacramento on Mondays and telehealth EMDR across California Tuesday through Thursday.
📩 Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation🧠 Or read more on my EMDR page.
Warmly,
Matthew Heake
916-245-0439